Anxiety Relief for Women: Why Somatic Approaches Are the Key You May Have Been Missing

Anxiety has been a companion of mine for many years.

One I have learned to relate to differently, over time, and to develop a gentler relationship with.

I know I’m not alone in this.

So many women, especially as we begin navigating the hormonal shifts of perimenopause, or the identity transitions that come with midlife, find themselves living with an invisible undercurrent of anxiety. 

Beneath the surface is a nervous system that is carrying too much activation, and is struggling to find a place to land.

If that’s you and you have tried all the tools, read all the books, and still find yourself struggling to feel grounded, more present and at ease, I want to offer a different perspective. 

One that goes beyond traditional ways of coping with anxiety, and begins in the body.

Why Traditional Approaches Often Fall Short

Most of the conventional tools we are taught for managing anxiety are cognitive.

We are encouraged to change our thoughts, reframe our mindset, or practice mental discipline. And while these approaches are helpful, they only address part of the picture.

Because anxiety doesn’t start in the mind.

Anxiety is a full-body response, a physiological reaction rooted in our nervous system’s perception of threat. When our nervous system gets stuck in a chronic state of hypervigilance or activation, reframing our thoughts alone isn’t enough to bring our body back to a felt sense of inner safety.

Anxiety is a wise survival response - our nervous system doing its very best to protect us from what it perceives to be a threat, even if its assessment of risk is a little off. 

When we try to override it with the mind alone, we often get frustrated by the dissonance between what we are telling ourselves, and how our body actually FEELS. We might be repeating “I feel calm and grounded’ but our body is still buzzing with anxiety.

This is where mind-body approaches to anxiety can be so healing and supportive. 

Somatic vs. Mindset Approaches: What’s the Difference?

Somatic and mindset-based approaches both have value, they simply work in different ways. 

• Mindset work helps us examine and shift our thoughts. The inner narratives, beliefs, and interpretations that influence our experience. Here, we work with the ability to pause and reframe, to adopt a growth mindset, embracing a different perspective to prevent negative thinking spirals.

• Somatic work, on the other hand, works beyond the thinking mind, at the level of the body and the nervous system, where anxiety finds its roots. It invites us to feel and connect with the physical sensations, emotions, and impulses that lie underneath the thoughts. It recognises that most of the patterns we desire to change are rooted in imprints that are embedded in our body. Thoughts arise in response to our state, as a way of trying to make sense of our experience. In somatics, we don’t try to fix the anxiety or make it go away, we befriend and soothe it instead, by compassionately working with our inner felt sense. And by signalling to the nervous system that we are safe enough, we help the anxious feeling soften. 

The truth is, anxiety often begins with a shift in state: something feels off, uncertain, or too much. Our body reacts. And then the mind kicks in. It spins stories, what-ifs, or catastrophes and those anxious thoughts, in turn, reinforce the body’s sense of threat, creating a vicious cycle.

Without working with both, the nervous system and the mind, we can stay stuck in that loop.

A Mind-Body Approach to Anxiety

So what does it actually look like to approach anxiety through both mind and body?

1. Tending to the Body: Meeting Anxiety With Compassion 

One of the most powerful shifts we can make in our relationship with anxiety is to stop trying to make it go away, and instead, to learn to meet it with kindness, openness, and curiosity.

We recognise anxiety not as the enemy, but as a part of us who is afraid. A part who needs care, soothing and compassion.

Anxiety can feel overwhelming and deeply uncomfortable, and in order to meet it well, we need to be resourced first. 

Before diving into the discomfort, we lean on the inner and outer resources available to us. This could be the breath, the ground, a trusted person, the memory of a safe place. We settle ourselves enough to feel anchored. Then, from that place of steadiness, we can turn toward the anxiety rather than being swept away by it.

You might imagine this anxious part of you as a small child tugging on your sleeve, not being dismissed, pushed away or shamed, but held, cared for, and tended to.

You can place a hand on your heart. Speak gently. Offer your presence like a warm, soft blanket.

This is the heart of somatic work: not to fix or suppress, but to offer a new relational field, one of tenderness, curiosity, and deep respect.

While these moments of care are powerful in themselves, our nervous system also needs to experience safety, stability, or even neutrality regularly, to become familiar with the absence of anxiety.

Here are a few simple yet potent somatic practices we can use both when anxiety flares up and daily, to gradually disarm the habitual hypervigilance and find more stable roots within:

• Heel Drops
  Stand tall, lift your heels an inch off the ground, and let them drop with a gentle thud.
  This rhythmic movement helps discharge built-up energy and sends a grounding signal through the body - I am here, I am supported by the steadiness of earth.
  

• Butterfly Taps
  Cross your arms gently over your chest and tap your shoulders alternately, like wings fluttering.
  This bilateral stimulation can calm the nervous system, soothe emotional overwhelm, and support integration, especially during or after a surge of anxiety.
  

• Voo Breath
  Take a deep breath in, and on the exhale, release a long, low “vooooooo” sound.
  This sound activates the vagus nerve, slows the exhale, and can gently guide the body out of sympathetic arousal into a more stable state.
  

None of these are magic tricks what will erase anxiety - and they are not meant to.

They are invitations to reconnect. Touchstones that remind our body that it is safe enough to soften.

Because safety isn’t something we think our way into. It’s something we cultivate, moment by moment, through how we meet ourselves.

2. Working With the Mind: Loosening the Grip of the Anxious Narrative

Deb Dana, expert in Polyvagal Theory tells us that: “Story follows state”. In other words, our inner state shifts first, then the mind jumps in to create meaning, spin scenarios, project worst-case outcomes, replay conversations or try to problem-solve.

This relationship between mind and body, story and state is not one-way.

Just as the body informs the mind, the mind also influences the body. The two are in a constant dance. One that can either escalate our anxiety or soften it. Spiral us into fear, or slowly ground us back into presence.

This is where working with our thoughts becomes powerful.

One of the most accessible ways to begin is simply to write our thoughts down. To create a little bit of distance between us and the stories spinning in our mind by getting them onto paper, so we can more objectively look at them.

With compassion, we can explore:

• What story is my mind telling right now?

• Is there any evidence for it?

• Could another story also be true but feel more empowering, soothing, or grounded?

• If my nervous system felt safe right now, how would I interpret this situation differently?
  

Sometimes the most powerful thing we can say to ourselves is simply: “I see you. I hear you. And I’m choosing a different story.”

This isn’t a suggestion to embrace toxic positivity but rather to explore other ways to relate to our experience that are more supportive, empowering and grounding. This helps us reclaim agency and reminds us: I can choose how I respond.

Bringing the Two Together: A Somatic Weaving of Mind and Body

When we begin to tend to both the body and the mind as intimately connected threads,the loop that felt inescapable begins to slowly loosen and unravel.

• Somatic work helps us downshift the nervous system. It brings us out of survival mode, gently back into the present moment, and into a felt sense of inner safety. This paves the way for more creative thinking to become accessible.

• Mind-based practices help us discern what’s true, and choose to adopt narratives that support and ground us.

Too much time in the mind - analysing, reframing, spiralling - without tending to the body can feel like trying to soothe a fire with ideas while the flames are still rising.

Too much time in the body - noticing every micro-sensation, every flicker of activation - without creating a foundation of inner stability, can leave us feeling overwhelmed or flooded.

Together, they create a system of inner resourcing. We recognise that we are not our anxiety, but the one able to hold space for it.

Sometimes that looks like pausing to take a few Voo breaths and then gently challenging a catastrophic thought.

Sometimes it’s taking a walk in nature, letting the rhythm of your steps settle your system, while quietly whispering to yourself: “I am safe in this moment, and I can choose how to meet this.”

Sometimes, our system just needs rhythm, beauty, or rest.

As we start building a relationship with the part of us who is afraid, over time, it becomes the medicine. It offers a path home to safety, presence, agency and wholeness.

If this resonates…

Did this speak to something in you? Perhaps you have been experiencing anxiety or difficult emotions lately, and you are longing for a gentle space to be held rather than coping on your own? 

If so, I offer personal somatic coaching for women who want to feel safer in their bodies and more anchored in themselves.

This is a gentle, bespoke support to help you return to your centre, and find a home within yourself again.

To schedule a brief, no-obligation connection call, simply find a time that works for you here. Together, we will explore where you are, and how we can craft a nurturing path forward.